Let's (Not) Talk About Sex: Breaking Down the Stigma in Church
In certain church circles, we tend to believe the lie that "we don't need to talk about sex."
"Sex is natural!" some say. "Just let the body do what comes naturally."
In other circles still, Christians shy away from discussing something so "wonderful and mysterious." "Don't talk about sex or you'll destroy the mystery!"
Separating Body From Heart, Mind, and Soul
Unfortunately, avoiding discussions about sex is possibly doing more harm than good. That is, refraining from marrying our words with sexual feelings and/or touch underscores a long-standing view that divides our bodies from our minds and heart.
While this warrants a larger philosophical discussion, let's just give it a superficial
nod, that secular and Christian ideals can often promote this idea of splitting the
physical function of the body and the words of the heart/mind/soul.
This "compartmentalist attitude" does healthy sexuality a disservice, working against intimacy as a whole.
The Problem With Keeping Sex (Talks) in the Dark
Instead of drawing people closer together, the lack of communication about sex in marriage upholds hurts and misunderstandings. Not being able to talk about sexual issues leaves little room to deepen physical or emotional satisfaction or, if there are problems, make a way for repair.
Thus, the first step to breaking down this stigma is to believe that sex and communication are a necessary part of intimate relating and growth in marriage.
The next step is to understand that another reason we don't talk about sex is because we don't know how to talk about sex. Why? Because healthy, direct communication about sex is rarely modeled.
A Healthy View of Sex in the Church
As we dive more into the importance of sexual intimacy to healthy, long-lasting marriages, we invite you to partake in learning how you can better address this topic with your church. Get our free eBook for more research, support and practical applications to discuss sex and other issues with your community.