Understanding the Pain & Peace Cycle

Each of us has a story of the places we have found love, connection, and belonging as well as the places we have experienced hurt, abandonment, and uncertainty.

These experiences inevitably shape how we view ourselves, perceive our safety, cope with pain, and respond to the world around us. This is what forms our pain cycle.

When we know our pain cycle, we can choose a healthier and more regulated alternative, which we call our peace cycle. This becomes a helpful model for renewing our mind and behavior, making for healthier relationships and a healthier self.

This tool was developed by therapists Dr. Terry Hargrave and his wife, Sharon Hargrave, who incorporate ancient wisdom of scripture and current research on the mind to help us develop new brain pathways and healthy relationships.

Real-Life Examples

Whether you are a minister, a lay leader, or a licensed therapist seeking to help others build stronger relationships, the video collection below can help you better understand how you can use the Pain & Peace Cycle with a variety of relational challenges. The Pain & Peace Cycle, is an integral part of RelateStrong and RelateStrong | Leadership Series.