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2 Ways to Know: It’s Not Them. It’s You.


When discord occurs in a marriage, relationship or even friendship, we are quick to point out the flaws in others.

However, Matthew 7 instructs us differently.

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" (Matthew 7:1-3)

Here are two truths to help us "pull out the log" in our own eye before pointing blame at our partner:

  1. All of us fall short and are lacking.
  2. "My" behavior is what usually triggers the behavior "I" find so annoying in my partner.

Next time you (or a couple you counsel) find yourself in a tiff, ask yourself first what you are contributing to the argument. We cannot change another person's actions, but we can change our relationships by making decisions about our reactions.

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