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3 Practices to Help You Minister to Singles in Your Church


Singles who desire marriage naturally wonder what they can do to find a partner and get "unsingle." Their #1 question in regards to their status of "What can I do to get unsingle?" may tempt a knowing response, but what they're really posing is a question of agency; the question of, "Do I have power to impact my singleness, or am I powerless?"

In ministering to singles, the temptation arises to provide a simplistic answer. But doing so diminishes the pain this person may feel in their desire to be married.

Here are three ways from our free RelateStrong | Leadership Series eBook to better connect and speak to singles in their time of questioning:

  1. Don't offer simplistic answers that suggest a person either has power or does not have power to find a partner. It's better to recognize the complexity and mystery of how God's sovereignty and human power work together.
  2. Validate the challenge of living in the ambiguity of what can be done to get unsingle.
  3. Help singles view ambiguity as an invitation to intimacy and connection with God — perhaps with the following verses:

Psalm 135: 6 Whatever the LORD pleases, He does, In heaven and in earth, in the seas and in all deeps.

Ephesians 2:10 For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them.

Ministering to Singles: A Final Word
When ministering to singles, it may be tempting to suggest they have total power or no power to find a partner. But feeling powerless to impact a significant need and desire can lead to depression and despair. A narrative of powerlessness fits reality no better than a narrative of total power. Instead, it's better to acknowledge to singles that God provides providentially and sovereignly uses our actions and choices in ways that clearly matter, even if not in ways that are clearly determinative.