Helpful Tips to Get “Asked Out” on a Date

Often, we put up walls without realizing it as a defense mechanism. We deeply want meaningful connection but are scared to show that we need it. We don't want to come across as clingy or needy. So we unintentionally send out signals that scream "Back off; I'm not interested!" Here are some steps that can help you send off more inviting signals.

Wear a friendly expression. Be aware of how your "neutral" face looks to people. Sometimes our relaxed or contemplative face looks angry or intimidating. Ask a friend about your neutral face and look at yourself in the mirror. Learn to adjust your facial muscles to a pleasant and friendly expression that matches your mood and how you want to portray yourself to others. It is surprising how this simple, learned adjustment alters your mood more positively, and you'll be amazed at how many more people smile at you and stop to talk.

Say a brief hello as you pass people. Instead of showing your insecurity and hustling by folks, pick your head up with a pleasant expression, and say "hi" or "good to see you" when you pass people. You don't have to stop for a conversation; this brief greeting is just an acknowledgement of other people and makes them feel good. When people feel good in your presence, they want to be around you more.

Get off your phone. When you are using your phone, you are unapproachable. No one can start a real conversation when you are already engaged in talking with someone else. Keep your phone tucked away and let yourself stand or sit while waiting; it gives people a chance to interact with you.

Walk with confidence. You can tell a lot about how people feel about themselves by how they walk.

Shake hands with confidence. A great piece of advice is to shake hands firmly and with confidence. If you have a weak or limp grip, people tend to not be as impressed by you. If you have a firm handshake, people notice. It is impressive to people. It communicates that you are worth noticing and that you are glad to meet someone.

Not everything on this list will apply to everyone, but hopefully you can find one or two things that are helpful to you.