Why Young Adults
Relationship IQ specifically targets ages 16-28 because in these years people decide
who they will be and make decisions that affect their entire life and future generations.
Relationships are hard. Reaching a certain age doesn't necessarily mean a person is
able to create and sustain vibrant relationships. Relationships take work, intentionality,
skills, and knowledge about people. Our society has not been particularly good at
equipping young people to maintain healthy relationships. Young adults are hurting
relationally and need guidance.
Young adults are in a specific stage of life that makes relationship education particularly
potent. Today's young adults are simultaneously experiencing two of Erik Erikson's
psycho-social stages of development - identity formation and intimate relationship
formation. While they are still in the adolescent phase of trying to figure out who
they are, they also ascertaining if they can be successful in romantic relationships.
When romantic relationships go poorly, they risk slipping back into a "regressive
and hostile reliving of the identity conflict" (E.H. Erikson & J.M. Erikson, The Life
Cycle Completed (New York: Columbia Press, 2008), 71). How often have you seen a broken
relationship rip away a young adults' confidence and sense of self?
While figuring out who they are and if they can be successful in romantic relationships,
they are also differentiating from their family of origin. As they figure out who
they are separate from their parents, parents advice tends to overwhelm them. This
process of differentiating from family often involves a separation from God as well.
Many young adults will pull away from God in this stage because their view of God
is so strongly tied to their relationship with their parents. They hold God at a distance
as they try to decide what they believe or put their relationship with God on hold.
At a time when young adults are making significant life decision and desperately need
advice, they can find it extremely difficult to receive advice, suggestions, or even
questions from their parents and might have a hard time connecting with God. Young
adults need people to come alongside them and help them learn to navigate adult relationships
and see God's desire to be in relationship with them.
Relationship IQ is able to provided needed information about healthy relationships
at a critical time in young adult development. rIQ helps young adults form relationships
with trusted mentors. rIQ opens doors to conversations about God. The young adult
years set life's course. How successful they are relationally greatly impacts their
faith, their family, and their career. Relationship IQ focuses on young adults because
the need and opportunity for transformation are immense.